For example, If your mate is insecure, it's easy to point that out. But as that person's partner, you should go the extra mile to make that person feel more secure. Men, compliment your woman. Not only that, but make her FEEL beautiful. Control your eyes when you're with her. She should be able to be in a room full of BEYONCE'S and KNOW that she not in competition with any of them for your attention. The more time you put into building her up and assuring her that there's no one you would rather be with, the less you will have to deal with the JEALOUSY. Plus, a confident mate makes for better sex (when your married of course,lol). I'm using women in the examples, but it goes for both males and females.
Another one is Trust. Fellas, you remember when we were in school and you had some teachers who said "you start out with an 'A' and it's up to you to keep that 'A'?" Now you remember EVERY teacher didn't run that same program. The same goes with women (or men). With some, you get to start out with their trust, and it's up to you to keep it. As long as you don't mess up, you're good. But with other female, their trust has to be earned straight out the gate and you're either up to the task or you leave if you're not trying to mess with it. Whether the trust issues stem from a past relationship, or they just come with the person, your best bet is to go out of your way to make her feel like she can trust you. First off, if your woman can't answer your phone or pick it up and look at it if she pleases, you DO NOT have any room to complain about her not trusting you. How bout the next time your phone rings, you ask her to answer it for you. Or maybe check your myspace or facebook in front of her every now and then. Be open. If that doesn't work, just do like my girl did me and prove them wrong everytime they accuse you. Once they've been wrong a million times in a row, they'll start to just shake those thoughts out of their head and ignore them like they should have done in the first place. No one like to feel stupid after making a big deal and getting all worked up over nothing.
NOW FOR THE OTHER SIDE
If you know your jealous or you know your insecure, start by first admitting it to yourself. Next, you have to communicate with your mate. Let them know your insecurities, and why it is that you have those jealous feelings. You can't just let them see the anger through your jealous reactions, because then, instead of trying to understand why you feel that way, they're going get on the defense and it will only lead to a fight. No effective communicating will get done that way.
Also, If you have trust issues, admit to yourself that you have trust issues and that everything is not actually as suspect as you think it is. You have to communicate with your mate, and let them know why you may have those trust issues. Once your blowing up at them, it's too late because rather than them trying to feel where you're coming from, they're going to blow back up at you because that's just what we do. Your going to have to learn to start taking L's. You have to pick what thought to entertain and what thoughts go in your "Trippin" box. Trust me, once you start getting past those jealous thoughts, you will cut your stress in half and you will have more peace and joy in your life.
In conclusion,when you're actually in a serious relationship, in love, or married............one person's problem becomes both of your problem and rather than just pointing out that problem, do what you can to be a part of the solution.
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